Two steps forward, one step back

I feel like my brain has run a marathon. The past two days have just been a non-stop race of thoughts and nerves.

It started on Sunday at work. I was dropped on the 16th floor for the first two lessons of the day, so obviously I used that time to:

1) Catch up with Deb.
2) Hit on Leah.
3) Hit on Nadja.

What I wasn't prepared for was Nadja inviting me out to Grand Cafe that night for a going away party for a friend of hers (Deb's (now) ex-roommate actually.) Needless to say, for the next 10 hours (from invite to arrival) my mind was racing. I was nervous as hell, partially because I was actually being given a chance with this girl, and mostly because the chance was going to be in a big dance club - the kind of place I am almost never comfortable in.

So, I spent the entire time before going wavering between trying to psych myself up and trying to talk myself out of going. Had pre-game with Ron, Bird and Hannah at a place called Bar Moon Walk. I had 10 drinks (8 of them shots) over a couple hours, but didn't feel drunk at all because I was too nervous and riled up. Anyway, we headed out to Grand Cafe at about 2AM and the place was completely packed. Found the group of Nadja, Deb, Ashleigh, Jonah, etc. (luckily) on the other side of the club from the dance floor. I had one drink, chatted with Nadja through a couple people, then had another and slid into the group. I talked to Deb for a bit, she was a bit of a mess, so I tried to get her focused, then Nadja came over and the next thing I know, she is in my arms. I don't know how long it was, but from that point until they took off, I held that girl and she was pressed right up against me. She was wearing a shirt that was open in the back. Her skin was soft, and the slope from her lower back to ass was a perfect resting place for my hand. That was about the time when the nerves disappeared, the alcohol took hold, and my mind dissolved. So, we stayed in that position until Nadja, Deb, and Ashleigh all took off. I got her number, a hug, and a kiss on the cheek, and a plan for lunch.

They left and I quickly realized that my brain was in shock. I must have asked Mick at least half-a-dozen times to make sure that it had all actually happened. I finally fell asleep at probably 5:30 or 6 and I was up and mind already racing by 11. Unfortunately, racing doesn't exactly mean thinking properly, not even close really.

My first mistake was to get ready, but stay at home and call her from here. I should have gone straight to Namba and been there when she got out of work. My second mistake was not touching her at all when we met up. I swear I saw a little flinch where she started reaching in, but then pulled back.

It was a damn fine day though. We wandered a bit, and had lunch at a really nice Italian place. Wandered a bit more, ran into Deb (who looks massively, but not surprisingly, different with no makeup and all that jazz,) then we headed off to Osaka castle. We saw some cherry and plum blossoms starting to bloom, we walked we talked we laughed etc. I missed prime opportunities to flirt (I saw them, I just couldn't pull the trigger for some reason. Maybe a holdover from my phase of not giving into compliment fishing, maybe I was just too intimidated by her hotness and I was insecure. Both very valid arguments.) There was some casual touching and a picture together. There was also a good amount of singing throughout the day, that made me happy. We headed back to the metro and ended up on a train back to her place, so I could "watch her clean". Then, we ended up renting 3 movies and going to her place. We had PB&J sandwiches and apple juice while watching two of the three movies. There was more touching that bordered on cuddling, but I didn't push anything (slightly regretting that.) Finally, she walked me back to the station and I jumped on the last train home. Not before I missed a couple more flirting chances (though did snag one,) and getting another hug.

Overall, it felt like a step back from Sunday night, but still moving forward, so I can't complain. There are plans for more hanging in the near future as well (aka tomorrow after work.) I still feel pretty solidly that she likes me, and I feel like I caught some telling conversation topics, but I didn't do as much as I could have on my end of things. My brain is still working overtime, and it is exhausting. I need to find some ways to cool down and just wait to see what happens from here.