Holy shit, what a day. Everything that had been building and boiling up just exploded today.

On my walk to the station this morning, all of a sudden, I had words flying through my brain. So, the second I got to the station, I pulled out my notebook and started writing. I don't remember the ride to work and all I remember from going from the train to work was thinking, "Gotta keep writing." I got upstairs, sat down and kept going, and then I wrote one of the most perfect sentences of prose that I've ever written. Once I did that, I sat back and laughed. I just couldn't fucking believe what I had done.

All day, I've had the strange (for me) ability to switch on and off between writing mode and normal mode. There were a couple slips wherein I was in writing mode while trying to teach a lesson, but fuck it. I've dealt with worse distractions than that before. Anyway, I've got the good beginnings of a story going. A story that I really want to write. So, that's something, right?

Beyond that, something crazy has been going on with the girls at work. I've mentioned my passion for Nadja, but (as always) there are a couple other girls on my radar. One is a girl named Leah (or Reah, never quite caught that) who is from New Zealand, and one is a girl named Liza who is from somewhere in North America. Anyway, before today I had spoken to Leah about 1.2 times (the .2 being when a douche Hank Azaria look-alike hijacked the conversation from me,) and I had spoken to Liza about never. In fact, I had never gotten a warm greeting from Liza at all, even when hanging with a guy friend of hers. All of a sudden, today she was smiling at me and talking to me. I really have no idea what caused it, but it seemed to be a spreading virus, because this one dude (likely gay) who I had talked to here and there, but never seemed too keen on conversing, started a conversation with me.

Anyway, I'm getting off topic. So, the real news is that today Nadja and Leah were had booths right across from each other at work. First time out, I was going to speak to Nadja, but ended up talking to Leah instead. Second time, I talked to Nadja. Third time (each of these is a 5-8 minute span of a break between lessons), I talked to Nadja for a couple minutes, then Leah for the rest.

During these interactions the following things occurred (keeping in mind I've talked to Nadja for about 3 days now and this was the first real interactions with Leah):
1) Nadja invited me to:
a) Come on a day-after-payday traveling trip with her and Debra
b) Come to Okinawa with her and Debra for Deb's birthday in April (at the time of Japanese Spring Break)

2) Leah invited me to Universal Studio theme park tomorrow for some dude's birthday. (A guy that I really don't know at all.)

The invites from Nadja came during trip number 2 and the invite from Leah came in the third trip. I've got a vague idea that I somehow played them off of each other, but even I don't believe that. I'm also a little wary of the invites from Nadja, because I'm scared that I may have already fallen into the Friend Zone.

Of course, then after work, when I was wandering out with Hannah and my friend Linzi, Nadja invited me to come to a club with her and Debra tonight. And a minute or two after that Leah reconfirmed her invitation to some other guy's party.

Needless to say, it was at this point that my mind snapped. I lost all control over thought process and decision making. I had no clue what to do. So, I went out and I got beer with Hannah, Linzi, Hannah's mom (just got to town today) and a woman named Atsushi. During the drinking and pool, I kept writing more of the story (an awesome feeling to kick back at a bar that I love and write and drink,) and I came to two decisions that (I hope) have nothing to do with my innate tendency to be a big pussy with women. I decided:

1) I would not go to meet Deb and Nadja at the club. I was in no state of mind to go to a club, where I'd never been, hang with two girls that I'd never hung with outside of work (and one that I really want to get), not to mention fighting off dudes running at Nadja and possible CBing from Deb, all by myself. I did try to call in a wing, but no one could help. Not a good situation to put myself in, so I decided to step away and aim for other opportunities in the future.

2) I am not going to Universal Studios tomorrow with Leah. Mostly, because I don't want to be crashing a guy's birthday party, and I don't want the first time I hang with this girl to be in a group of people that I don't know at all. I would be quiet and uncomfortable and it just wouldn't work out.

Yes, I want these girls, but I want to do this right. I want to do this so I have the best chance possible. I don't want to run into a situation and fuck myself over even though I knew I shouldn't go in the first place.

It's been a crazy ass day. I hope I've made the right decisions. I can't be sure, but I'm gonna stick by them and I'm gonna keep on like I have been. I've been good to not overthink anything recently, I'm gonna try to keep that up and try to just do what I should. I've got to have faith that it'll work.