Woke up angry and lost and churning. Thoughts and theories blazing through my head. I can't stop trying to figure this out. I can't stop wondering why you chose the way you did and why you couldn't commit to me.

The theory getting the most brain space right now is that you chose him out of guilt. Maybe you felt so guilty over cheating on me that you started to believe that things could never work again, that you had broken things beyond repair, that those memories would haunt us forever.

Of course, I don't know the truth. All I can do is play a private version of "Conspiracy Theory" in my head. Half trying to move on, half still waiting on a miracle.